Friday, February 20, 2009

The most tortured physical analogy of all time

It is with great pleasure that I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, this, the most tortured physical analogy of all time.

It will come as no surprise that this analogy is from electrical engineering, a field filled nearly to bursting with absurd fictions.

Even if you aren't familier with basic electrical circuits, have a look at this circuit diagram of a camera's flash:

The circuit

Now, compare and contrast with this baffling and bafflingly unrelated diagram of a cabin's water supply:

The tortured physical analogy

Which part of the circuit is the ball valve? What about the other valve? Where the hell is lake superior in the circuit diagram?

Has anybody ever encountered something worse?

Ironically enough, while writing this post, I finally got the analogy. It's really not too bad!

Monday, February 16, 2009

1st Annual Fictitious Logo Contest: The English Language

It is with great pleasure that I announce the first annual Fictitious Logo Contest!

The rules are simple: create and submit a logo for the English language. It should be suitable for publications and advertisements promoting the language, both printed and electronic.

The winner, determined by online poll, will receive a small box of Solstickan matches, Sweden's preferred match since 1936.

The deadline for submissions is March 15th, 11:59pm.

Good luck!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Fabulous abuse of the C Preprocessor

From an open source kernel extension I was making some changes to:

// warning: egregious abuse of preprocessor follows!
#define private public
#define protected public
#include <IOKit/hidsystem/IOHIDSystem.h>
#undef private
#undef protected


I really just have no words...

Friday, February 6, 2009

Famous trees

One of the most surprisingly interesting pages on wikipedia is this list of famous trees.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

25 Random Things

1. I dropped out of high school when I was 16.

2. One of my first memories of using a computer was definitely *not* positive. I was around 4 or so, and my dad let me bang around on his computer. I have a really strong memory of pressing buttons on the keyboard, and thinking that it was dumb, since I didn't *actually* know how to use it.

3. I think my first memory ever is of a rainy day at preschool. I remember the mud squishing between my toes.

4. I can fly at will in my dreams, when I have the wherewithal to think of it. I kind of jump up and forward, into a kneeling position. I have to tense my calves in the air to stay aloft. Normally I can only glide around a few feet above the ground. Getting higher takes real effort, and usually can't be maintained. I'm always disappointed that I can't do it when I wake up, since it feels so logical when I'm asleep.

5. I did Brazilian jiujitsu pretty seriously for about one year, right before I got into Cal. I trained five or six days a week, and competed in a couple of tournaments. Sadly, the combination of school and BJJ was just too much, and I had to give it up. I still miss the feeling of fighting for my life on the mat, and the satisfaction of a good submission.

6. I hate physical possessions. Everything about them is a pain in the neck. If I can't fit everything I own into a car, it makes me nervous.

7. I've resented each object that, over the course of my life, I've been forced to start carrying around in my pockets. In order: wallet, keys, cellphone. But I don't mind lugging a laptop around, as it replaces so many special purpose devices.

8. I was seriously depressed for at least a decade when I was younger. It was definitely a big part of why I dropped out of high school. I'm not depressed anymore, thanks to four years of quite excellent therapy.

9. The famous person that I'm most proud of having met is Vinton Cerf. He was at Cal to give a talk and be inspiring, and he was great! I asked him a question and he said that he liked my tee-shirt. Then afterwards we talked about intellectual property law on the internet. It was super. :-)

10. I haven't owned a TV for the last 3 years. I can't stand commercials.

11. The best class I've ever taken was CS 61A, the introduction to programming at UC Berkeley. Brian Harvey, the professor, actually says that it's the best class in the world on the first day. I felt like I was at a school for wizards, and each week I was learning new spells. Week after week, it was just a huge rush of, "Oh my god! What are they going to teach me next!?!"

12. I have *no* idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

13. The first time I took a programming class was at community college. It was a class in C++ for people who were already supposed to know C. I was terrified that I was going to suck at programming, something that I really wanted to be good at, so I did about 100 times the amount of work that was actually assigned. I remember doing basic programming exercises for 8 hours a day, three days in a row. I was convinced that syntax highlighting would make me weak, so I forced myself not to use it.

14. I'm *really* good at basic linear algebra. I think it's because, when I was little, I was convinced that being able to reason about higher dimensions was a kind of magical power. I spent a lot of time trying to think in four dimensions.

15. Sadly, linear algebra is the extent of my math skills. My worst math enemy is differential equations. Mechanically, it's almost exactly the same as linear algebra. But it's not about space, so I'm completely lost.

16. I still sleep with a stuffed animal. It's a seal that my parents got me at the Monterey bay aquarium millions of years ago.

17. I'm not good at saving money. I only have two spending modes. One is quite lavish, and applies whenever I've got more than two months rent in the bank. The other involves a lot of ramen.

18. One of the coolest things I've done is hitchhike around Iceland. I flew there with no plan, a couple days of accommodation, and a plane ticket back in 10 days. On day two I met this really cool Finnish guy (Paavo!!!) on a bus out of Reykjavik, and I wound up hitchhiking with him and his friends around the island. It sucks, but I didn't quite make it 100% around the island. I was a little worried about time a day before I had to go, so I took a bus the last 10% of the way. I still regret it. I think I could have made it.

19. I can blow three smoke rings simultaneously--one from the center, and two from the corners of my mouth. As far as I know, I'm the only person in the world who can do this. Sadly, I don't smoke anymore.

20. One thing I miss about smoking is rolling cigarettes. If I'm around anyone who's smoking rolling tobacco, I get excited and ask if I can roll one for them.

21. When I make food at home, I often eat standing up over a counter or something. I guess it's a bad habit, but taking food to a table seems like so much work.

22. I have a troubled relationship with sleep. It's way too easy for me to stay up late, and murder for me to get out of bed.

23. Whenever I fantasize about a perfect place in a utopian future, it always involves huge expanses of perfect green grass.

24. I used to be afraid of the dark, and of water. Those fears are pretty much gone. The only thing that worries me now is death. A major goal of mine is to come to terms with the fact that I am going to die.

25. Having email in my inbox that I haven't dealt with makes me nervous, even if it's only facebook spam, the background radiation of the internet.