The dark side of couchsurfing

As you may know, I went to Iceland for a week. It was so awesome, but the first day I stayed with an Italian woman named Sabrina I found through couchsurfing. It was a little stressful:

4 children. All of them crying, screaming, taking their clothes off, or hitting me. Some doing a few at once.

Ate a plate of foul, overdone pasta that I couldn't possibly have refused.

Your 6 year old daughter is beating me, like hard. She just hit me in the stomach. I almost puked. I don't think I'm allowed to deck her.

There's this Icelander, trying to build "many websites, with many themes, for pictures, articles, and whatever." It's all for "The Revolution", but I don't think things are going to work out. And I foolishly told him that I'm a computer science major. He's got me staring down the broken asshole that is Microsoft enterprise networking, trying to get his ass-shit working. He might as well be saying: "Hey, would you mind helping me nail these two boards together? I'd really like to jumpstart Iceland's space program."

She asked me to buy a carton of duty free camels for her sort-of husband, but he seems unconcerned with paying me back.


Here's a Haiku for my first day in iceland:

i can't fix your site
i just want to see a fjord
your daughter hit me

First joke in Swedish!

I was at a shoe store, and I asked the cashier how to say 'shoe' in Swedish. She said it was 'sko', and pointed to the name of the store, written on the insole of the shoes I was buying: "din sko"

"din sko" literally means "your shoe", so I said "det ska bli min sko": "It will become my shoe." It's better in Swedish, mostly because it rhymes. I think she was mildly amused.

Result!

I think I like the monarchy now.

Clare told me that Pär, a swede, likes the monarchy because it protects Sweden from the president. That makes a lot of sense to me. I think that people need a god-like figure to worship, and to represent the state. They also need a president who can actually make decisions and lead the country. I don't think one person should have both jobs.

Red light district

The whores of Amsterdam are scintillating. Many are phenomenally attractive--perfect bodies, their blemishes hidden by the murky red light.

One lay on her side, moving her ass rhythmically for the passing men. It was so beautiful, like a beating heart laid bare.

They smile and beckon to you. To me their gazes were instantly recognizable: women have looked at me like that in the past. But each time it became a treasured memory, and now her eyes slip easily to the next window shopper.

Interrupting Chicken

I don't think that Swedes like it when you interrupt them. They'll sort of look at you and keep talking.

It's too bad, since I think it's a pretty good way of talking. When you think of something good to say, you just start to say it, as long as the other person isn't saying something very good themselves.

PS I got some hiking boots for Iceland, and have places to stay for 4/7 nights. If some awesome couchsurfers get back to me soon, maybe I won't have to sleep in bus terminals for those three nights!

I used to think sumo was boring

Helvetica and busted camera

I watched Helvetica a few days ago, an excellent documentary about the ubiquitous typeface:


I love fonts. It's pretty retarded. I think my favorite is verlag.

Also, my camera broke, so I sent it to Malmö for repairs. There's no way it'll be back in time for Iceland, so hopefully I can borrow a camera to document the trip.

Iceland -- It's time.

I just bought tickets leaving on the 6th and getting back a week later. I have no idea where I'm going to stay, and otherwise know only that I will soak in the blue lagoon, and hike through some crazy moonscapes.

Searching my computer for 'iceland' yields the following pictures: